If not today

If not today

will you ever see the beauty

in breaking hearts and growing hopes,

will you recognize the eyes of your lovers

underneath the haze of a full-moon’s night,

will you witness the movement of lustfull mouths

and hungry teeth.

I watch you sleep, hands pressed against each other,

angelic face, pale skin, 

you seem weaker at night;

for you lose your weapons,

tounges tied and fists softened.

Today

you called me insane for the way I love,

but have you forgotten that there is nothing sane about loving until you burst,

have you forgotten the letters I have written,

all threehundredandeightynine,

have you forgotten my shaking body on the ground,

have you forgotten yourself, walking away with anger in your face;

you say I am insane, 

but is there sanity in hurting what has not meant to be hurt.

I watch you sleep,

for it makes me think that you are fine,

and it makes me believe that I am fine, too;

your eyes closed, your mouth silent,

I forget the words you screamed and the names you called me,

you look inocent and lovely.

I wonder,

if not today,

will you ever see beyond the body that holds me,

will you understand the roots of my words

and the meaning of my silence.

If not today,

will you ever love,

insanely and honest,

and will you heal

what you broke

within me.

Jehona Thaqi©

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3 thoughts on “If not today

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