Time lapse of a sketch I did recently. Enjoy!
“In darkness there are answers.”
Time lapse of a sketch I did recently. Enjoy!
“In darkness there are answers.”
I have often asked myself why I write at such a young age, where most of my friends like to do other things, to ‘live’ in the perception of media and today’s society. Where did the idea of writing start and why have I chosen to write poetry?
While I was in high school and my passion for foreign languages started to grow, I used to keep a notebook in my bag, for everytime I felt like something beautiful happened I wrote it down. I had never heard of Edgar Allan Poe, Fitzgerald, Jane Austen and other important writers before, but I fell in love with their words the more we read their books and stories in class. My notebook slowly transformed itself into a place where I quoted the most mesmerizing parts of books, where I tried to write my own stories in different styles and where I wrote my first poems.
The greatest inspirations have been those writers who were able to capture my heart and my mind, who stimulated my brain, who made me feel something. So instead of going to parties I stayed at home, exercising myself, trying to express my emotions in a way where the reader gets hypnotized. F. Scott Fitzgerald remains my personal favorite, he draws me into his books like no other writer. I wish I had lived in his time so I could tell him how wonderful his writings are.
My English teacher, whom I thank more than anyone else, made me understand that writing is not about using difficult words or about trying to sound sophisticated. Writing is an act of expressing yourself, it is putting your life into art. Even though I am still miles away from calling myself a “writer” or a “poet”, I have decided to take this path and try my best. It may be that only a few people take the time to read the stories I tell, but it calms my heart to know that those few people enjoy reading it. Not only that, for me writing is a way of handling sorrow and sadness. No matter how difficult a situation might seem for me, I try to get influenced by it in a positive way, I try to get inspired to write a new poem, a new shortstory.
Inspiration can be found in every corner and every stage of our lives. Even if your heart feels numb and your thoughts are a labyrinth of which you can not escape, writing might be the healing process. No matter if people make fun of me, if they call me names, if they think that my words are worth nothing, I will continue until I have reached the point of self-satisfaction.
May that moment never come.
Jehona Thaqi ©
19. Sept. 2015
Eventhough I was born and raised in a small city near Zurich, I profoundly enjoy taking photographs of the beautiful corners of this quiet place. Zurich is one of the most amazing places I have ever been to; everything seems to be perfectly arranged, with little twists of flaws and imperfections.
As you walk across the Quai-bridge – the wind softly humming into your ears; you will fall in love with the small boats and the turquoise sea. To make the view even greater your eyes will soon capture the amazing buildings at the beginning of the most expensive district in Zurich. I am overly obsessed with the architecture within this city!
Walking across these streets each day makes me sometimes forget to see the beauty within them. I have to remind myself how overly privileged I am to be living in this country, especially here in Zurich. As the child of two immigrants, who flew from poverty and political instabilities, I feel a strong connection towards this place. It has been the place that gave my parents the opportunity to live – in its full meaning, and gave me the opportunity to educate myself.
This city has made me grow, maybe it is a further reason of why I love it so much.
One of the sweetest things in Zurich are the trams in the center of the city. No cars, no buses, no trains, only the trams that will surely bring you to the right place at the right time. And yes; Swiss people are extremely punctual.
But there is another thing that I strongly admire about this city: art. Where ever your eyes wander, I am sure that they will capture art in a variety of forms. Maybe one day I will be part of the displayed art in this wonderful city.
Have you ever been to Zurich? And if so, what is your greatest memory of it?
Jehona Thaqi© all rights reserved
Dear who-ever you are,
thank you for taking the time to read
the words I almost refused to write
the words which lifted me up
while thinking that I do not deserve being lifted.
This is no poem. It is for you, who told me that I am nothing. How true it is, to a world full of artists and poets and writers and broken hearts that found comfort in writing, to a world full of art, I am nothing. Still, I am enough for myself. When my hands are bleeding and my soul is restless, I write to mend the broken pieces. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes I seek shelter underneath the poetry of other writers, the ones you named, the ones that sound so familiar, the ones whom I do not aim to be, the ones who have inspired me to be.
This is no poem. Are any of my writings poems? Do I consider myself a poet? What is a poem? Does poetry have boundries? Am I original? Am I the same as everyone else? Some questions have no answers. You, as a poet, will know best. I have yet not had the courage to say I am a poet, for my words seem so weak. But I am glad that you can, that you believe you are, what so many aim to be.
This is no poem.
Jehona Thaqi © this goes out to those who have told me that I am merely a copy of artists around the world.
We have not met yet,
I have never seen your face, nor have I felt your heart beating.
People tend to not believe in things their eyes have not witnessed,
but I know that your atoms are swirling somewhere
inbetween the galaxies and stars.
One day I will hold you and tell you stories
of how your mother survived upon an earth so ignorant and harsh.
I will teach you that good will not always return
but that you shall never hesitate to keep fighting for it.
I will hold tight to your small body,
as I know that growing up to be a woman can be a devastating war.
You see, I have been reduced to being a woman too often
and it has broken me in places I never knew existed.
Your hands will grow like the petals of a rose,
and so will the pain.
It will fall upon your leafs like raindrops,
sometimes slowly, sometimes within a raging storm.
Please do not try to hold it all alone,
I am here to take whatever your hands can not endure.
My daughter, I will tell you that pain knows no age,
despite what society has told me.
You are never too young to be destroyed
nor will you ever be too old for being broken-hearted.
I promise that I will listen to you each night until your swollen eyes collaps
and your soft heart falls asleep.
I will love you with every inch of who I am,
so no matter how often your soul gets ripped into a thousand pieces,
I will lend you parts of mine, you will heal and grow into a beautiful creature,
nourishing this world with seeds of love.
You see, it will not be easy,
but you will unfold yourself,
and I will be here to water you
whenever your petals dry out.
Jehona Thaqi © if I should ever have a daughter
I never knew how broken I was
until I felt my shattered pieces cutting through my flesh.
Until it ached to breathe
and it ached even more not to.
Jehona Thaqi© the painting is yet not finished, and so is this poem
Dearest Reader, I am extremely excited to talk to you about my new project! Soon I will start to sell not only portraits (as some of you might already know from my other Social Media profiles), but also handwritten prints and illustrations of my poetry.
You will be able to purchase your portrait or your favorite poem online. The details are listed below.
It has always been a dream of mine to have my own little shop, where I can sell art in the most various forms to other art-lovers. I am starting here and now to widen my audience and I am hoping to connect myself with people from all around the globe, to share my interests and to make someone out there smile. Maybe the passion for my own shop will turn into reality in the near future.
If you are interested (portrait or illustrations of my poetry) please contact me via E-Mail: firstname.lastname@example.org .
Details on my portraits: I work on 100% cellulose paper (cold pressed), 13,5 x 21 cm. Shipping worldwide! If there are other requests (oil-paintings, etc.) I will be pleased to add them to my homepage. Feel free to contact me at any time!
Details on my poetry-illustrations: please contact me via E-Mail! I am open about new styles and I will try to make them as customized and personal as possible!
THANK YOU for your support!
Art; a friend of mine who comforted me when words were not enough. A friend who kept me awake until 3 o’clock in the morning, who did not want me to fall into dreams. A friend who let me dream with eyes wide open, who showed me perfection in other people’s beauty, who taught me that everyone has beauty.
As weird as it might sound, I have struggled a lot with ‘art’. Sometimes I got mad at myself for not being able to get to sleep, because I could not put my pen aside. I was so addicted to the idea of creating something breathtaking, which I never reached, that eventually it made me sick. “All art is but dirtying the paper delicately.”, wrote Ruskin, and I must admit that I have never read anything more accurate than that. We will never be able to reach perfection, not in art, nor in anything else. Drawing has only been a way of ruinig the white space with effort and taste.
Today I draw less. I prefer writing, even if words either leave too much or too little space. But sometimes, when my heart is heavy and my mind tired, I reach for a pen and let drawings and sketches speak for me.
Sometimes I still enjoy dirtying the paper.
Jehona Thaqi © the drawings are signed with Jehona B. because B. is my maiden name
Follow me on instagram @jehonathaqi for more!
Ah, sa shume vargje ti dedikova permes heshtjes. E di qe i ndegjove, ne mes te muzgut dhe agimit.
Diku ne endrrat e tua i ndjeve ato fjal, qe u mundova ti spjegoja me shkrimet e mija te panumerta. Po me trego, si mund ta spjegosh dhimbjen ne mes te brinjeve? Sa fjal duhen ta pershkrush stuhin brenda vetes? Kush arrin te kuptoj zjarrin qe digjet pran gjetheve te vjeshtes? Sa metafore duhen per te treguar qe me mungon?
“Dua te behem poete”, te thash. Por nuk di si te behem poete kur filloj dhe mbaroj çdo fjali me emrin tend.
I have dedicated to you verses through silence. I know you heared them somewhere inbetween dusk and dawn. Within your vivid dreams you heared my words, those stories I tried to tell you in all my letters. But tell me, how do I explain the pain I feel within my ribs? How many words are enough to explain the storm within my body?
“I want to be a poet”, I said. But how can I be a poet if every beginning and end is signed with your name.
“I am more than how you choose to see me. And I am not reducing this whole body of mine to a scale from one to ten. You can give me a mark on how I spell my words, but you can not correct my tongue. For I am standing up for the soul that is being born each day, in billion shades of wonderful. I am still trying to find myself and you will not define the time I stop.”
The words that burst out of my mouth.
Things school never taught me.
Thoughts that haunt me.
This is no poem.
Yet for me it is more than that.