To my son

Baby boy,
Mother is sorry for being tired.

You smash your toys against the ground – 
giggling to the sound it makes; 
your eyes wide open
and looking at me with the greatest smile I have ever witnessed; 
yet your Mother is too tired to laugh with you.

Instead my eyes fill with tears,
holding in all of the emotional roller-coaster a mother has to live through,
while piles of clothes are waiting to be washed
and I justify myself to friends that I am unable to see,
for when my baby boy falls asleep,
so does his Mother.

You look at me with those big, big eyes,
Mama, you say and smile.
As if to say it is okay, to be tired.

Jehona Thaqi©

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My dearest son

My dearest son,
you are still too small to understand my words,
yet you know exactly that something is wrong.

While my tears fall upon your soft skin,
I hold your fragile body against my chest,
I hold onto this tiny miracle,
this wonderful gift life has given to me.

My dearest son,
you are still too small to understand the words I say
with a shivering voice and sad eyes,
yet you know exactly that something is wrong.

You look at me with big eyes,
wondering why your mother is sad,
while she holds the definition of love
within her shaking hands.

My dearest son,
you know that something is wrong.
But be not afraid,
time will pass and memories will fade;
and at the end of the day
all that matters is you.

My dearest son,
I do not remember grieve
since the day you were born,
although my soul has marched through war
and has lost too many of its colours.

My dearest son,
I will not grieve anymore.

Jehona Thaqi