Honey

I have waited four years now,
to write this letter to you, 
honey –
the thought of you lingers in my mind; still
and the sweetness of your words lies upon my tongue.

First, forgive me,
for I have always made everything about me,
as if my silenced heart was everything
that needed to be fixed.

Second, I hope you are well,
for I have not seen you in years,
only sometimes –
when my eyes wandered towards you
dancing around your friends
and your careless smile filled me with warmth.

Third, be safe,
for I know your pure soul and lovely character –
there are too many harsh and selfish people,
just like me –
that could tear you to pieces.

Fourth, I will not write again.
This is the last time I crawl into your life,
the last time you hear my name rushing through your body,
but this time,
honey –
I will not do any harm.

I am only here to tell you
that you are the purest love of all,
and despite the distance that lies between our hearts,
I bear your name within my mind
for as long as I live.

I am here to tell you
that I have not forgotten
the words I said
and the broken pieces of our love.

I am here to tell you
that I still taste the sweetness of your words,
it tastes like you;
honey.

Jehona Thaqi©

Mind-murder

My mind keeps wandering 

to places with safety signals,

to places where others have fallen

to places where white flowers rest

upon dead bodies.

My mind keeps asking me the same questions,

of when it will get better,

of when I will find the right words,

of when we will buy white flowers,

of when white flowers will be bought for us.

My mind keeps crying,

at night, when my body is too tired of staying awake,

at night, when my soul has been drenched in sorrow,

at night, when my heart beats too loud within this empty house.

My mind keeps complaining

about the flowers I forgot to water

and the dishes that still wait in the sink,

about the clothes I had to wash 

and the room that has become a mess.

My mind keeps talking

to the body which crawls out of bed in the morning,

to the swollen eyes underneath the make-up,

to the shaking hands that hold coffee-cups. 

My mind keeps invading

my privacy,

and consuming

my capacity to think,
so, today I bought white roses,

and placed them within my mind.

Suddenly, it became silent, all around.

Jehona Thaqi©